


Feferi: flip the script

by Lizardlicks



Category: Homestuck
Genre: FLARP, Minor Violence, Multi, Very Silly Pirate Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardlicks/pseuds/Lizardlicks
Summary: Everyone thinks of her as a sheltered princess and Feferi is sick of it.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora/Feferi Peixes/Vriska Serket, Eridan Ampora/Vriska Serket, Feferi Peixes/Vriska Serket
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: Homestuck Polyswap 2020 - Derse





	Feferi: flip the script

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thescyfychannel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/gifts).



> Prompt: _FLARPING REDUX. (aka FLARPING 2: electric boogaloo)_
> 
> _Basically...Feferi's agreed to go FLARPing but she didn't realize that meant she was going to end up the bait in a (cough cough HIGHLY inappropriate wink wonk) trap ONE asshole set for another. She's either going to end up really into this or absolutely grumpy about this—I'd love to see which you prefer or if you want to do something entirely different, and how all of that goes??_

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--  
  
CA: fef i knoww you said… uh  
CC: You said you needed anot)(er FLARPer since your last partner bailed and I said S)(OR----E!  
CA: yeah but i wwasnt specifically askin you wwhen i wwas vventin my wwoes like that  
CC: No, you were just moping and fussy fretting about forfeiting your game all week.  
CC: T)(is is obviously really important to you, so w)(at kind of friend would I be if I let you miss it?  
CC: It wouldn’t kill you to say t)(anks, you know!  
CA: its not that i dont appreciate the consideration a my plight an all  
CA: but wwe are talkin about a high level campaign already in the swwing of intense plot intrigue the likes a wwhich might be a little intense for a beginner  
CC: So catc)( me up!  
CA: its not that simple id havve to introduce you to all the vvarious movvers an shakers an wwhatnot  
CA: an then theres all the levvel grindin  
CC: Yeah so w)(at?  
CC: You were going to do t)(at for someone else anywaves.  
CA: wwell  
CA: one a them is vvris  
CA: an actually shed be your clouder  
CC: Great! I already know Vriska, t)( is will be smoot)( sailing  
CA: no  
CC: No?  
CA: you knoww *vvris*  
CA: not marquis spinnerette mindfang  
CA: an she doesnt go easy on neww players not evven ones she *likes*  
CA: i wwasnt completely up front about my last partner  
CA: hes currently bein digested  
CA: unless spiderbitch has him paralyzed to savve for later thats alwways a possibility  
CC: So you’re being wis)(y-was)(y because you’re worried.  
CC: Aw, Eridan, you’re so sweet! You don’t have to worry about a T)(ING! I can )(andle myself in )(ot water.  
CA: dammit fef this isnt a game!  
CA: uh i mean  
CA: it is a game but its got serious consequences!  
CC: I know t)(at, Eridan. I’m not some wet behind the ears guppy!  
CC: T)(is 2X3dent isn’t just for s)(ow. You’ve been at t)(e end of it enoug)( times to know t)(at!  
CA: this is not one a our sparring matches fef  
CA: FLARPing is more than just strifin it takes cunning and a keen mind for strategy  
CA: you havve to stay at least three steps ahead a your opposing team at all times or your cluckbeast is cooked  
CC: It’s a good t)(ing you’re suc)( a krilliant strategist t)(en, isn’t it?  
CC: I can stick to w)(atebber game plan you can sc)(eme up.  
CC: And let’s face it, you )(aven’t got much of a choice on such s)(ort notice!  
CA: ugh  
CA: fine  
CA: i wwarned you  
CA: lemme think on things and ill try to come up wwith somethin that wwon’t get us both killed  
  
\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--

Your name is Feferi Peixes, heiress of the Alternian empire and caretaker of the imperial lusus, the Great Terror of the Depths, Emissary of the Horrorterrors Gl'bgolyb, and you are sitting in your comfortable underwater hive, frowning at your computer screen. This was starting to be a  _ thing _ with Eridan, and you do not like it one bit. Sure, it’s sort of sweet that he worries about you. Your future is the farthest thing from assured and he’s probably one of the few trolls that knows that as well as you do.

What he’s never understood about you though, is that it was never a lack of being ferocious or bloodthirsty that was the problem. It’s holding yourself back from those things that you’ve struggled with. You’re afraid of what you might do if you ever truly let go and gave in to the Tyrian bloodlust. You’re not a stranger to the suffering of other trolls, but you still try to insulate yourself from it lest you start to go numb. Like  _ Her _ .

But sometimes you think that maybe he’s right, and that perhaps you have throttled your instincts a bit too much. Like right now, when the troll who should know you best has somehow got it into his briny brain that you’re a helpless guppy. So what if you don’t want to be a killer? That doesn’t mean you can’t be ruthless in other ways.

This would be the last time Eridan Ampora underestimated you if you have anything to say about it. He wants to make sure you can stay three steps ahead? He had just better be able to keep up! You might even have some things to say to a mutual cerulean acquaintance. She likes the kinds of fires you intend to set and the irons that go in them. You think she’ll be very interested in hearing out the scheme starting to simmer in your pan.

The smile that slowly replaces your frown shows off the points of your teeth. You gently shoo away an errant cuttlefish that had drifted between you and the screen then start typing.

\-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] \--  
  
CC: My condolences.  
AG: Oh? What for?  
CC: For your ASS after it gets KICK-----ED! BOOYA)(!  
AG: Hahahaha, those are some 8old words! What makes you think I’m gonna get my ass kicked?  
AG: Eridan is out of this campaign if he can’t find another player 8y next week.  
CC: I see you )(aven’t )(eard. I’m going to be taking t)(at spot!  
AG: PFFFFFFFFTAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
AG: That was a good one, Peixes! You had me going for a whole 8 seconds there!  
CC: I like t)(at you )(ave suc)( a good sense of )(umor about it!  
CC: You’re going to need it after we beat you to a pulp! 38D  
AG: Holy shit you’re 8eing serious.  
CC: As a s)(ark attack.  
AG: And Eridum8 agreed to this?  
CC: His options were pretty limited!  
AG: LOL yep!  
AG: Weeeeeeeell then, player.  
AG: This has 8een some fun 8anter, 8ut I hope you know that I’m not going to go easy on you just 8ecause we’re friends.  
CC: I would be disappointed if you did.  
AG: I gotta confess, I didn’t expect such a 8old attitude from you.  
CC: W)(at do you mean?  
AG: Well you know. FLARP requires some under-handery. A little su8terfuge, and a willingness to 8end some morals. And you’re........ you.  
CC: Yeah, water aboat me?  
AG: You’re always sweetness and 8u88les, I have a hard time 8elieving you have treachery it in you.  
CC: Is t)(at so!  
CC: Actswelly...  
CC: I have a proposition for you. A new iron for your fire, if you’re interested.  
AG: Oooooooo intriguing! You have my attention.  
CC: Erifin said t)(e same t)(ing about FLARP needing cunning and mastery of strategy. I don’t t)(ink )(e believes I can )(andle myself.  
CC: So I want to s)(ow )(im up a little!  
AG: Oh em gee, are you asking me to help you pull one over on Ampora?  
AG: Let me think a8out th- YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!  
CC: Not)(ing deadly! And not *too* )(umiliating! I just want to remind )(im w)(o around )(ere is t)(e )(eiress.  
AG: Don’t worry a8out a thing, princess.  
AG: I got it aaaaaaaall planned out. >::::)  
CC: I knew you would!  
CC: So w)(at’s t)(e plan?  
AG: Just trust me! We’re in cahoots now, and cahoots is a sacred bond of sisterhood.  
CC: Mind filling me in on the deets?  
CC: Vriska?  
  
\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has logged off--  
  
CC: Glub damn it! 3>8(

  
  


\---------- One Week Later ----------

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind!” You twist in your bindings, lashed tight to the mainmast of Vriska’s schooner. Or “lashed tight” you guess. The knot is a fake, at least that’s what Vriska assured you. You have the end of the rope clutched in your hand. When she gives you the signal, you’ll pull it, and release the bindings, ready to spring into action! In your fluffy frock and devoid of weapons, you look the perfect picture of a helpless damsel in need of saving.

That is, if Eridan’s ship ever catches up with yours. “Is it going to take much longer? I won’t be able to feel my fronds if you keep dragging things out!”

Even your statbat is bored. It’s perched in the rigging over your head and preening a delicate wing, not even paying attention to what’s happening below. You hope that doesn’t affect your defense stat.

“Shh, we have to make this look authentic! The Orphaner will suspect something if I simply let him catch me, especially after I claimed so valuable a prize from him!”

You puff your cheeks. Prize indeed! This isn’t what you would have planned at all. In fact you’re starting to suspect that Vriska thinks you are some kind of suckerfish too! Well as long as you’re handing out lessons, she can also get schooled.

You put on your best pout and whine. “Vriskaaaaaaaa! I’m getting bored! Can we get this over with, I just want to go home.”

She turns, and when her eyes meet yours you push your bottom lip out just that much more and scrunch your eyebrows.

She does not make it a full eight seconds.

You have to fight against your impulse to grin when she sighs. “Alright, fiiiiiiiine. God, stop looking at me with them big ol’ eyes.”

Vriska leaps down from the railing and her boots land on the deck with a sharp click. You are pretty sure she actually added steel plates to her soles just for the effect, because mother knows it wasn’t for better footing on wave slicked wood. You don’t know why that makes you squirm and want to snap your teeth. You don’t care for the way you want to feel something between those teeth.

When she puts her back to you to shout orders at her crew, you can’t help the way your lip curls. You just have to remind yourself that there are other ways to take someone to pieces.

“BRING HER ABOUT! SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST, WE’RE MAKING A RUN FOR DRAGON’S MAW!”

The crew jump to obey their captain without question, even if maybe they should. They know that failure has a high price.

The ship yaws to the left and you can feel the pull of the wind and waves change through the mast at your back and the deck under your feet. The wind whips you hair over your face and you sputter. Once you shake it free of your eyes the ocean doesn’t look much different, but now you can glimpse Eridan’s ship out of the corner of your eye, making a run to intercept.

“Now to give him some extra incentive!” Vriska rubs her hands together and turns back to you grinning. “Can I borrow this? Thanks!”

She’s already snatched away the silk scarf that was struggling to hold your tresses at bay before you can protest. Your hair whaps your face again as you shout. “Vriska, cod damnit!”

By the time you can clear your eyes again you spot her scaling the rigging, half way up to her flag. Your statbat barely glances at her before it tucks its head in. It looks like it’s taking a nap now. What exactly Vriska is doing becomes clear when she pulls her flag down just long enough to tie your scarf to the bottom corner. Kanaya is going to be so mad if she loses that, you were only borrowing it for your FLARP costume. Still the effect is obvious: your pretty pink scarf whipping at the end of her colors is an open taunt.

Vriska rejoins you on the deck a final time, rocking up onto the balls of her feet and doing a little bounce. “He’s going to be soooooooo mad!”

“And you’re going to let him catch up now, right?” Maybe you’re starting to feel kind of bad for Eridan. You didn’t think Vriska would put this much into playing mind games but then again, mind games are sort of her specialty.

“Sure. I mean, if he’s as good a sailor as he brags about being, I just gave him plenty of lead. We’re turned toward land and don’t have the same favor from the wind as he does.”

You don’t know all the nautical terms and sailing jargon, aside from puns. Eridan has explained it to you before, but it all flows in one fin and out the other. You just swim to get to where you’re going! So you don’t fully grasp the mechanics of it, but sure as Vriska just pointed out, The Vodnar looks closer than it was only a few moments ago. It isn’t coming at you straight on, but approaches at an angle, cutting through the waves smooth as a harpoon.

Above water, on the vast expanse of the ocean’s surface everything looks the same. You can’t judge distance, even if your goggles make up for light distortion. The Vodnar creeps closer, but you can’t actually  _ see _ the progress, only that it is getting bigger. It feels to you as if whole eternities are crawling by, dawns and dusks of entire epochs rise and set while you stand and wait, bored to tears and more than a little bit anxious to have something to do. Anything at all other than just standing here tied to the mast of a ship.

Vriska is too focused on watching through her spyglass. The rest of the crew give you a wide berth; they have literally never seen a fuchsiablood before. You don’t know what’s going through their heads, but none of the other trolls will look you in the face or get within spitting distance. If you stare too long they’ll look away and pretend to be suddenly VERY busy with a bit of rope, or polishing their weapons, or anything that doesn’t involve making eye contact.

You become so distracted just looking around the boat and watching how the various deckhands react to your gaze that the shout of, “LAND HO!” from the crow’s nest startles a teeny yelp out of you.

Vriska spins around with her spyglass and laughs. “Well! If the Orphaner wants to take us while he has the advantage of the seas, he had better do it now!”

You squint in the direction that she’s looking and you think that maybe you can see a little speck of darker black in all this blue-black and dazzling pink moonlight, but that might be the power of suggestion. When you look back to Eridan’s ship, he’s closed distance enough you can see the strands of rigging and his own crew dashing for the gun hatches.

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to have a problem with that, Vriska. Oops! I mean Mindfang.”

“Ooo, he’s really pushing his helmsman. Hope he’s got a replacement!” Vriska-slash-Mindfang cackles. Sure enough there is a faint, ghost-light glow around the ship’s hull and now that Vriska pointed it out you can see she’s riding higher on the water than her weight should allow. Your heart sinks a little. You really hope that Eridan isn’t actually burning out the ship’s Helmsman just to come rescue you when you aren’t really in danger. If he’s hurt you’ll have to do your best to mend him.

The action explodes so fast it sends you reeling. More accurately Ahab’s Crosshairs explode overhead, the blue-white lightning cracking and arching far over your head and leaving you half blind. Your poor statbat plummets from its perch with a terrified squeal, singed tail smoking behind it. It alights on your head and hops around with distresses chittering while you try to coax it back into its proper position.

“Come on, give me my stat display already!” With one last annoyed grumble and a flap, it launches off you and takes up a hover about a foot overhead. Your hit points, hit bar, and defense flicker back into existence just in time for another volley, this time from the gun decks. The Vodnar has descended with thunder and lightning like a vengeful god.

Vriska’s ship shudders violently with the assault, rolling in the waves. Vriska only cackles some more. She leaps up onto a water barrel and thrusts her cutlass into the air.

“Be ready for their boarding party, cowards! Any turncoat that runs comes home to meet mother!”

And right on cue, on the heels of Vriska’s declaration you hear Eridan’s voice booming, amplified by some game magic, “CREW OF THE ARACHNE, YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU. PREPARE TO BE BOARDED. RESISTERS WILL BE PUT TO THE SWORD.”

The guns fire again, this time to launch harpoons. They pierce the hull with a splintering crack that makes your teeth grind. And then it becomes almost a ballet. The advance party swings over on ropes, landing so they tuck and roll and come up with weapons drawn. Steel meets steel in ringing, rhythmic chimes. Another percussive thump joins it as the boarding planks land across the railing, and the march of boots follows it before it has time to fade. In front of you the two crews meet and dance, spinning and twirling, neither willing to throw their life away on an enemy blade; but, also not in the mood to test the whims of either of their captains.

Eridan’s crew tries to advance. Vriska's keeps deflecting them, but they slowly gain ground. Vriska herself hasn’t joined the fray. She stands near you, stance tense and eyes scanning. You don’t see Eridan either. He’s not in the crowd, but he also isn’t on the deck of his ship.

Vriska is tapping the flat of her blade against her thigh-high boots. She fidgets with something in her off hand; you catch a glimpse of blood blue and remember that the cutlass is more show than anything. The Fluorite Octet might be random, but it’s nearly always deadly in her hands.

A splash behind you is the only warning you have. Instinct and experience drop Vriska to her belly just as Ahab’s white bolt snaps through the place she was standing. Try as you might you can’t turn your head far enough to see Eridan, but your stomach flutters when he snarls like you’ve never heard before. Vriska lets the d8s in her hand fly, and they skitter and clack across the wood. They settle and flash blue, then disappear back to Vriska’s strife specibus, ready to be used again. Her sword shimmers and starts to glow the same blue as her dice set, and when Eridan fires again she rolls onto her back and holds the blade out in front of her. This blast deflects off its steel in a flash and shower of sparks that half blind you.

You’re still blinking out the spots when Eridan finally charges into your field of vision and your chest clenches. His cape is gone, his lovely, perfect coif is plastered back in damp curls, but it’s his eyes that stab into you with guilt. They’re wild, tinged with red at the corners, the sure sign of a highblood losing the fight to rage. He’s stricken, lips pulled back so tight you can see his black gums and the point of every tooth.

He leaps at Vriska with another feral snarl, no grace, none of his usual calculating measure. She seems as shocked by the barrage as you are, only just getting her cutlass up to block the butt of Ahab’s from coming down on her skull. She rolls, trying to put some distance between her and Eridan so she can get up, but he keeps her pressed, Vriska only gets one knee under her before she has to block another swing, and another. Eridan hammers into her defense with pulverizing force. You can see her statbat shiver with each blow. It won’t last long at this rate.

For as long as they’ve been partners-slash-rivals on and off the field, you get the sense Vriska’s never really fought an Eridan that wasn’t holding back. Not like this. You’re a little proud, knowing that he can and has given you all he’s got.

Vriska changes tactics and angle of her grip on her sword so the momentum of Eridan’s next hit pushes her back. She lands, staggered but still on her feet, then meets him again, steadier this time. Eridan responds by flipping Ahab’s Crosshairs around and attempts to impale her with the laser rifle’s barrel instead. The point glances and slides down the length of Vriska’s blade. She flashes him a smile and cuts back high. He let’s ducks low and slams the butt of his gun into her thoracic cage instead.

Vriska’s statbat shudders violently and squeals, and the word ‘stunned’ pops into the status effect bar. Eridan uses his free round to bring his gun down into her back with a CRACK that you feel more than hear. It’s at this moment you realize he is far gone enough to actually kill Vriska. You have to stop him, distract him somehow.

“Orphaner! I’m over here!” His fin twitches, then he looks up. The wild beast look fades just a little as he takes you in, mussed but unharmed. You see him take an unconscious step toward you before he catches himself and takes a moment to compose. He still kicks Vriska over onto her back.

“Give up, Gamblignant,” he sneers down at her, “you’re out witted an’ out matched.” Then to you says, “You hurt, Crusader Ebonflow?”

“Only my pride, Orphaner,” you assure him. He seems satisfied enough with that answer.

Vriska has recovered enough of her breath to laugh. “It’s not over until I’m swinging from the gallows, Dualscar!”

“We’ll sure see to that, Spinneret.” Eridan snaps to his crew. “Shackles and chains, throw resisters overboard!” and they jump to grab Vriska and haul her up.

Then he finally turns to you. Vriska winks at you over his shoulder, but you can’t return it because Eridan is bouncing across the deck to bend and oh so tenderly touch his forehead to yours. His hands come up to your cheeks and he gently smooths along the bones with his thumbs.

“You sure you’re okay,” he asks you again. You almost feel bad for what you’re about to do. Almost until he adds, “I told you vrisk wasn’t gonna be playin’ fair.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Unfortunately, Orphaner, you are not.” You plant your boot in his chest and shove.

“W-what?” Eridan is so startled he actually trips on his double-u and he stumbles back away from you. You pull the rope.

Your bindings fall away and then the cargo net above him drops.

Of course a measly rope net couldn’t actually hold Eridan if he made any effort to escape, so you scoop him up and bundle him tangles and all onto your shoulder where he won’t be able to fight free of your grip.

Vriska’s gleeful crow cuts to the confused noises of the two ship crews that just stopped to watch you. She pushes Eridan’s trolls off and strides boldly across her ship to stand beside you. “Your tide has come in, Orphaner Dualscar! Now we see who’s been outwitted. Dump him in the hold, Crusader.”

“Hmm. I think no.”

“Wha- AHH!” You drop Vriska effortlessly with a leg sweep and catch her in your outstretched arm, then gently tuck her under. She exchanges a bewildered look with Eridan who only gives her a confused glub.

“Hey. Peixes, what are you doing, this wasn’t in the plan.”

“This wasn’t in  _ your _ plan. I made my own! Since you two were too busy to consult me about my input.”

"A _double_ double cross? Well played!"

To the now very perplexed trolls that had been helping NPC your FLARP session you say, “Keep a course for land! And send those shackles and chains to the captain’s quarters, I’ll have use for them later.” Eridan glubs again.

As you turn and begin walking toward the Arachne’s captain’s quarters just like you anounced, Vriska squirms.

“Ampora?”

“What.”

“Your girl played us for a couple of suckers.”

“Yep.”

You laugh. “Yeah, but you’re my suckers, now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ebonflow. _Ebb n flow, geddit!?_
> 
> Yes i know statbats aren't that interesting or interactive in the comic, but I took some creative liberties.


End file.
